I see this quote all over social media these days and it got me thinking, who actually lives their best life?
I don’t, I really wish I did and it’s something I am working towards this year. I blinked and my 30’s were gone. My 40’s are going to be different. I touched on this on another post but we plod through life & I
was one of those people “One day I will do XYZ” why wait for that one day? Why not now? Whats stopping you? I want to look back with no regrets.
Confidence gives me the fear.
It kills my all my plans, from the way I dress to how I run my business. I love clothes, I mean really love clothes, I have rails of beautiful dresses, more coats, boots, shoes that you can imagine but I stopped wearing them due to weight gain and being judged. Just because you like to look after yourself doesn’t mean you think your better than anyone, I’ve had a few snide comments over the years that slowly knocked me but I’m bouncing back! Now the weight is slowly coming off – thanks to the Joe Wicks Plan, I have rearranged my wardrobe, had a good clear out, sold on ebay, gave to charity and binned a lot. I take 10 minutes at night to look out my outfit and arrange my bag for the next day, Not only does this save a melt down in the morning but gives me extra time to snuggles with the dogs & sets my days off in a positive mood!
Now if I’m walking along the street and I find someone staring at my boots (it happens) I smile and say hi instead of going home to change. (yes my paranoia got that bad) Business wise, I have my first shoot next weekend featuring moi and Tallulah Belle Fashion, yes my throat expands when I think about it but if you want something in life you need to push through your fears.
I remember going into a local shop to ask for the Vogue September issue, its the only time of year I buy it, its the holy grail of the fashion seasons ahead, the girls in the shop looked at each other and smirked, “No hen, we don’t sell it, the girl thought I had left the shop but I heard her saying to her colleague, “who the **** does she think she is”, my heart sank and the tears filling my eyes. It knocked me for 6. I had so many plans for you tube, this blog, photo shoots and just those words stopped the lot. I’m growing a thicker skin as my confidence comes back. If I went into a garage looking for a car part, or a grocery looking for certain food, would you be treated the same? I very much doubt it – so why does what clothes you wear become so judgmental – answers on a postcard please! We all can judge, I get that but keep it to yourself because bringing someone down aint pretty.
Anyway, its the Easter weekend, I plan to indulge in a little chocolate, spend time with my family on Sunday and I’m going fishing with Alex and our dogs, well I will be reading my book snuggled in a blanket next to the loch while he does a spot of fishing! Have a good one, Marlene x